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After a lifetime of being bullied, Daelyn is broken beyond repair. She has tried to kill herself before, and is determined to get it right this time. Though her parents think they can protect her, she finds a Web site for "completers" that seems made just for her. She blogs on its forums, purging her harrowing history. At her private Catholic school, the only person who interacts with her is a boy named Santana. No matter how poorly she treats him, he just won't leave her alone. And it's too late for Daelyn to be letting people into her life . . . isn't it?
In this harrowing, compelling novel, Julie Anne Peters shines a light on what might make a teenager want to kill herself, as well as how she might start to bring herself back from the edge. A discussion guide and resource list prepared by "bullycide" expert C. J. Bott are included in the back matter.
- Sales Rank: #68461 in Books
- Brand: Hyperion
- Model: FBA-|282886
- Published on: 2011-05-17
- Released on: 2011-05-17
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .63" w x 5.38" l, .62 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
From School Library Journal
Grade 9 Up—Daelyn Rice has been bullied her entire life, whether it was for her past weight problem or because she currently does not talk and wears a neck brace. She has attempted suicide several times in several different ways and is now more determined than ever to end her life. Daelyn discovers a Web site called Through-the-Light, which is for suicide "completers." There she communicates with others who share the same goal. The members share stories of bullying, molestation, etc., and encourage each other's ultimate goal. Meanwhile, Daelyn meets a boy named Santana. She wants nothing to do with him; his presence and determination to draw her out of her shell only annoy her. Over time and as new information surfaces (he has cancer), however, she finds herself drawn to him. Will their connection be enough to make Daelyn realize that her life is worth living? Readers are left not knowing what she will do. This novel is disturbing in that the teen bluntly discusses her desire to kill herself with little to no emotion. She has a plan, and she is eager to carry it out. Also upsetting are the suicide methods that are explicitly detailed on Through-the-Light. However, Santana's presence is welcome, as he softens the unsettling subject matter. This book is definitely worth the read, but for older, more seasoned teens.—Sarah K. Allen, Elko Middle School, Sandston, VA
(c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
About the Author
Julie Anne Peters (www.julieannepeters.com) is the award-winning author of more than fifteen books for children and young adults. She lives in Colorado.
Most helpful customer reviews
47 of 50 people found the following review helpful.
Whoa! What an amazing read
By Sab H.
I was not expecting this, specially in such a short read. This book is so harsh. And raw. And wrong. And cruel. And depressing. And sick. Oh, and I loved, loved, loved it. Even though my stomach sometimes didn't. I had physical ache while reading, that's how amazing it was. Seriously, I believe every person alive should read it. If you dare to read something so heart-wrenching that will most likely stick with you. It leaves a great message.
The world is a freaking messed up place, no need to hide that. This may be a hard read, but only because it's so real that it hurts. The characters in the book were magnificent. The guy, Santana, I've never been so in love with a realistic-fiction character before. I wanted to tear him out of the book. He will steal your heart and keep it. The writing was good, felt awkward at times, but worked perfectly.
If you think you can take reading about bullying and suicide (Bullycide) you must go pick this up right now. If you read Hate List (Jennifer Brown) and liked it, I think you will find this one really interesting too.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
Courtesy of Teens Read Too
By TeensReadToo
Daelyn has suffered major psychological damage from years of being bullied. The torment and embarrassment she received because of her weight started her downhill slide into despair. She has lost her desire to live and failed at several attempts to end her life. Her latest failure has left her unable to talk and on 24-hour suicide watch. Her parents barely trust her to go to school.
Daelyn is biding her time. She only has 23 days until her Date of Determination. She discovers the Through the Light website by accident, but finds it to be a welcome change of pace compared to the other suicide websites and discussion boards she's visited in the past. Instead of preaching and warning her against her decision, the website provides rational and informational posts and discussions about ending her life.
BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD is a powerful and heart-wrenching story of one girl as she makes the hardest decisions of her life. How will she end her life and what will she do with her last 23 days?
Daelyn thinks she has it all figured out until she meets a strange boy while she waits for her parents to pick her up after school. Santana is persistent when it comes to making friends with Daelyn, but with only 23 days to live does she really have time?
This is a short book at only 198 pages. It is easily a one-sitting read and well worth the time. The author, Julie Anne Peters, also includes a lot of factual information at the back of the book. There are 19 Discussion Questions as well as sections about Bullying, Suicide, Warning Signs, and Prevention Hot Line Information.
Your heart will break for Daelyn and the ending is thought-provoking.
Reviewed by: Karin Librarian
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Raw and Unsettling, Realistic and Beautiful
By thehydrogenpoptart
First Sentence: The white boy, the skinny, tall boy with shocking white hair, sneaks behind the stone bench and leans against the tree trunk.
How I Acquired the Book: I borrowed a digital copy from my library and read it on my iPad.
The Review: I'd like to begin this review by telling you that this book swept me off my feet. And it didn't even take vampires, fallen angels or werewolves to do that. No, all it took was an amazing protagonist, a great love-interest-but-not-supposed-to-be-love-interest, and some of the most heart-wrenching scenes I have ever read.
Daelyn Rice wants to die. She has attempted and failed at suicide before, but when she finds through-the-light.com, she knows that everything is going to change. Through The Light is a suicide's dream website: the rules state that no one can post anything to discourage people from killing themselves, and people share their horrifying experiences in life as well as ways to kill yourself. Everyone on the website has a Day of Determination: the day when they will finally kill themselves. When the book begins, Daelyn has 23 days to go. And then we start counting down...and down...and down...
This book has haunted me for the past four weeks. I wasn't originally planning on writing a review for this, but changed my mind after I kept thinking about Daelyn. Some scenes in this book will stay with me forever. I don't even want to spoil the slightest detail for you, but let me just say that some parts of it are almost horror-fiction like. And yet, we see that these details are necessary, as we glimpse into Daelyn's life. These scenes make the book so emotionally charged, I wanted to cry. So much. Who knew you could stuff so much emotion into 200 pages?
I am shocked that this novel is not so popular, as another suicide novel, Thirteen Reasons Why, seemed to be read by everyone. This novel should be more popular. This book should be required reading for all middle and high school students, because it will change their lives, even though some are reluctant to admit that. You may scoff at people who say they're going to kill themselves. After you read this, you will never think like that again. Daelyn's story is raw and unsettling. It is realistic and beautiful, harrowing and haunting, and it will stay with you forever.
-reviewed by a teenager. (I apologize for any teenagery and/or snarky comments in this review, if they have offended you. I understand they can be very annoying, just like teenagers themselves. In any case, thanks for dealing with them and thanks for reading this review.)
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